4 posts tagged “humour”
When any of my friends, or I, try to be funny…it just comes really….one happens to just, say things which make others laugh, the key is to say them with a straight face, it's mostly stuff that is absolutely absurd which sounds funny when said with a straight face :) some sarcasm, some cynicism, the best is 'extreme sarcasm' where the absurdity actually sounds valid!! I wonder what it would be like to actually 'write' something, which is not a first person account (like a blog) which makes people laugh.
I'd really like to try that out, so here goes, let's create a character…let's see…let's observe…let's plot out his anatomy…
Normally built, normal nails…normal hair (I would have given him a bald spot but then the story would keep 'centering' around his insecurity about it) this man Is very used to observing people, and going 'bah..humbug' about them (no this is not a scrooge rip off) also he's a bit insecure about his safety deposit box…ok that's a bad joke, if it is a joke. He's very secure about it actually, it's in a good bank with loads of guards and a good security system. Yes I'm not gonna let the 'security' joke die.
Let's call him 'Zaphod' (I've been reading some Douglas Adams yeah) nice name, isn't it? Sounds like somebody people would say 'he's so cool!' about…well he's not. Zaphod wanted to be in a band, like all t he kids that were ever born did until they became doctors or lawyers or businessmen…he tried to paly an instrument but got really really bored at the classes, "what's with all the 'practice' man?" he'd say, "no I can't do it, my fingers are too fat!" maybe I can get a doctor to prove that I am a musical genius but sadly for the world my fingers ARE too fat to paly the guitar, win win :) actually a 'win' int his situation would be if he became a great guitarist (or just an average one, the 'inspiration story lovers' would be ok with just that) coz then it would be like the Lance Armstrong story…yeah! So that didn't happen, he knows just about two or three chords…but is trying, kinda….he hates having to practice 'switching from one chord to another' so thinks he's destined to be a lead guitarist who just plays awesome solo's, or a bassist, hehe….bass is fun..
Zaphod also thought that the first time he got an erection it was a medical miracle!! And that he'd be on TV just because his penis could do that! Well, he was very disappointed when he realized that the only thing he thought was special about him was…er…not, that special. And was very glad that he didn't go running to his friends claiming "guys I'm gonna be famous!!"…so glad.
Zaphod loves throwing his opinion around, so much so that he'll judge you on the first word you say when you meet him and how you say it and which direction you look when you say it and how you smile when you say it and at what volume you say it and what songs you used to lsiten to 14 years ago and on what platform and whether you like Linux or not and whether your grammar is as good as the father of English (whoever it was, Zaphod thinks it was his great-great-great-great grandfather, validating Zaphod's awesomeness)whether your father owns a white pair of socks or whether your mother laughs at the best of jokes (she shouldn't, she should just laugh at the ones told by him)and whether he feels awkward in your company or not because of how you look and others look at you…
Besides all that he's a very non judgmental person…he says so himself.
Eh….this isn't easy..
Zaphod is very self centered, whenever he tries to write about a fictional character he ends up writing about himself, grrrr…..
Man I keep reading parts of Douglas Adams' books and getting 'inspired'!! But it's just not working!! I'm better off blogging, and trying to make the content there funny…
big ass writer's block, haha, big 'ass-writer's' block :) -
if ever faced with a dilemma, which involves choosing between 'doing something nice for some girl' and 'doing something nice for yourself (which could just be, refraining from exercising the first option :-P) and you really, really don't wanna spend time 'pondering' over the choices, then you should ask yourself -
do i want to / is this going to help me in any way to / am i ever going to have sex with this girl?
and if the answer is no, hehe....you can pretty damn well choose to go with the second option :)
there was this movie called 'talaaq talaaq talaaq', came out a long time ago...now, what if a muslim couple had to go watch it? the dialogue:-
Wife: Let’s go see a movie today.
Husband: Oh, yeah? Which one do you want to see?
Wife: Talaaq, Talaaq, Talaaq
Husband and wife: Ooooops
heeheeheeheeheehee... :-P
i just couldn't resist....heeheehee.......
the premise:-
people arguing about CRI Pune leg's headlining band 'the black lips' in the community 'rock in pune'...
one guy says:-
"oh and FYI...
This is how Horizontal Action Magazine reviewed Black Lips...
"They
have tapped into a very secret well that everyone thinks they want to
drink from. Too bad its got weird bent rainbows and shit floating in
it.""
another:-
"Horizontal Action Magazine:..
is that a porno mag??
dont temme u didnt see that comin..
another guy:-
Actually horizontal action might just be the woman on top position... seems more geometrically correct...
and that is actually more from the paper than a magazine... Pune Mirror had the sense to blast black lips... and also inform us, that they chickened out of the rest of the india tour out of fear of plastic bottles...
there HAS to be a name for that phobia...
yet another guy:-
indoplasticobottlophobia
ah....i love pune....and orkut (only because of these gems)
and oh yeah, look at this!! :-http://www.nme.com/news/the-black-lips/42289
man this band has managed to entertain me in so many ways :-D heeheeheehee....
