5 posts tagged “relationships”

As college ends, I see a lot of people around me desperately trying to 'do something fun'.

People seem to be in the phase of 'make some awesome memories' now...

Let's observe what 'routine' means, a routine is what we all follow, now 'following a routine' doesn't sound like a very fun thing to do…but it is something you have to do, it is unavoidable and inevitable.

When in college, we follow a routine of classes, other activities like eating out, going for movies…these are all part of your routine…

As a crack addict you follow the routine of getting your fix, and working towards your next one..

As a beggar, you follow the routine of going to your usual places for alms…

As a hippie 'spiritualist' traveler (say, in Goa, or Pune's Koregaon Park) you follow the routine of doing your yoga, your meditation, sitting around at your usual place and having tea, etc etc…

After college, your routine can be anything from 'looking for a job' to 'cooking up new excuses everyday for your mother as to why you don't have a job yet'

If you're an avid clubber…dressing up, picking a place to go to, dancing around, is your routine...

You are never free, and by that I don't mean 'bound' in a any way, you will choose a routine, whatever suits you (even one's that don't suit you, due to the need for money, or peer pressure)

A routine essentially means a set of activities you do,  repeatedly…with little change…and all this sounds very boring…but it's not, let's see why...

In this routine, whatever you choose to follow…there is one element that is ever changing, the human element, because whatever routine you might choose to follow, this routine, or parts of it, are followed by others, thus you tend to interact with these others and become closer to some…

Thus your routine becomes less tiring, the monotony is not what your mind focuses on…"That's what friends are for".

These are what we call 'friends', you'll make some friends in high school, you'll make some in college, and you'll make some during your work hours when you get a job…

Maybe you even won't make too many friends, you can say that your routine then consists of 'doing everything to avoid people' :)

So these 'friends', they help us create 'memories', memories for some can be those of times during their routine in the form of "fun times in class" or "fun times at work" (which generally consist of everything besides 'studying' and 'working', well, as I mentioned, that's what friends are for)

So when you have to leave, after college…or high school…or any of these routines…there's really no point cribbing about it.

We all know that it's not realistically possible to keep everybody in your life from your previous routines, I'm in touch with very few high school friends I care to stay in touch with, same is going to happen with college…you choose favorites…most of the time according to convenience, and how much ever you might deny it, need/use (we are all businessmen at heart looking out for our own interests).

But the point here is, getting overly attached to people from your old routines is futile…even more futile is trying to create 'last minute memories'…

The Friends we make are the byproducts of the routines we follow, we know them and care to interact with them directly because of the routine we choose to follow…

So when we choose to switch the routine (it happens over time by itself, in most cases…) we are inevitably going to have to 'shed' some friends…why see it as a catastrophic event?

you see it often in movies, there's some kind of a 'house party' going on, and the lead actress decides to just go to the roof/terrace to 'get away from it all', usually seen feeling cold hugging herself looking out towards the night...wind teasing her (generally blond) hair a bit, and here she meets the lead actor, who too, seems to have come here, much before her, to 'get away from it all'..they end up talking about things, and how their life sucks, and then one of them says something on the lines of :- "sometimes you just got to <insert cliche phrase here> " while looking at the other or out to the night..if they're looking out to the night, right about now the speaker of the dialogue would look at the other and smile....

here's the start to a beautiful romance....

now, that doesn't happen too often at real parties!! first of all,the reason you'd go to a party nowadays is to be with the people you came with, and there's no way the scum are gonna let you get away and 'lone' about on a creepy terrace (especially if you're a girl, come on, you definitely have more concerned friends than that!) and if one was so keen to 'get away from it all', one wouldn't come to a party, unless you plan to lone about and find someone...i don't go to parties without my ipod tucked away somewhere so if i need to 'lone about' i can sure as hell do so without getting absolutely bored...because trust me, nobody cares to 'get away from it all' when 'it' is what they came for in the first place...

this, doesn't really happen:- 'loner finds loner and they both live happily for some time' (im not too fond of the words 'ever after')

how the hell does a loner find a loner? if you're going to parties to find 'loners' you're hardly one yourself!!

that's why we love movies so much, they're definitely one of the strongest sources of 'hope' for generations of people looking for guidance...

i was inspired to write this after/while watching 'august rush', what a beautiful movie...i haven't felt 'smiling really wide', 'almost crying' and 'clawing with despair' in the same movie for a long time, and the music...ah...i personally couldn't keep my hands from moving with it like an impassioned possessed composer :) im not a 'prodigy' like the boy but i loved and felt whatever he did...I'd recommend it to everyone.

every part in the movie where there was beautiful music involved is etched into my brain and makes me smile wide thinking about it...im gonna be making some someday for sure, and this movie can be stated as one of my inspirations :)

<break>

so i wrote the above text, most of it...while the electricity was out (i have a laptop, but my modem needs power) and while i took a nap after writing it, i thought of a million other things...

why, does it so happen, that people say "i wish i had someone to talk to", this line is usually said by people who have had myriad relationships in the past and thus always had someone to talk to...frankly speaking, from the point of view of someone who's barely been in any relationships...i don't feel the absolute 'need' to talk to someone...it's not a need, it arises as a 'hey man this is in me i wonder what he /she thinks about my thoughts' thing....

most relationships, tend to weaken people, and they let this happen...always having someone around, always getting pampered...and then when you break up it's the hardest thing in the world because you got so bloody attached...and your 'pain' keeps getting thrown around at other people's heads when you're in their company, sheesh...you get conditioned to getting something and as the 'flow' stops you start acting like 'that's it, my world has ended', well man, you weren't always together, get back to how it was before him/her.

The phrase 'im gonna miss you/love you forever' is something even the speakers of which realize within a few months, that doesn't make sense...it's mostly uttered in a 'third person' format (im gonna love him/her forever) for other people to hear and go 'awwww', well most of the things you'd say to make others go 'awww' are bullshit...it's the human tendency to make other humans think that they're the best, the best 'girlfriend/boyfriend' in this case...someone who'd 'love their significant other forever'.

most of the time when you give utmost importance to the pains in your life, think about what you would feel if someone else was telling you about it, you're the only one who cares about and understands your 'pain', nobody else wants to listen, nobody else cares, and if you look into it, you might just realize that you too are just wasting time over it. most of the time. oh bollocks you'll never realize it....

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Now playing: Aqualung - Brighter Than Sunshine
posted with FoxyTunes   

i suddenly understand the feeling behind the phrases 'part of me died', 'worship', and 'respect', why these phrases have been used in romantic stories, music, and various other expressions...somebody has felt this...

it's a different thing...very different....very powerful. very, very illogical....very beautiful.

it's time to change.

people always want things in 'common' with their partners, because they don't like to be disagreed with....they want to live with someone with who it's easy to survive because they'll oppose less..

but many relationships, are based, and initiated, by lies...people pretending/trying to like what the other does, just to get in their pants...

(going off topic here...)

because most people just want comfort, comfort they find in the mannerisms of other people who represent images of characters they read about or see in movies and other media...everyone wants little romantic things, flowers, gifts...very frequently spoken 'i love you's, this is what a relationship is based on, constant flow of the same old cheesy communication...stamped 'true love thingies' by mills and boons and such...

(off topic block)
it's all 'games' people play...that's why some people hate their exes, some remain good friends, you hate because you have finally seen through them and their little games they played with you during/at the beginning of your relationship...remember, they were never the only ones playing games, a game can be played by two....
(off topic block)

they want 'charm', and they get it from, and are attracted to those who, openly throw it around...it's the mating ritual...flaunt your mannerisms...but that doesn't mean other people can't be charming....

they don't understand, the 'charm' is there in everybody, even the wife beater, how he'll often go say 'sorry' with a sad face to his wife and she'll be happy again, because that is what is needed, that's why household abuse marriages also last..we call the women idiots for staying with the guy, but what can you do? they've always been so...they fall for the 'charm', they let the 'i love you's melt them...anybody getting love from someone can be charming, in their own way, to them...

some of us don't have the confidence to be charming in general...what can we do? I'd never know how my 'charm' was being taken, i can't flirt, i can't compliment very well without feeling the need to twist it in a humorous way to avoid the awkwardness which wasn't there but i always expect it to be....

some people's 'charm' is seen in the way they do things...the way they treat others...though like i mentioned earlier, that, is a display...like putting yourself out on sale...appearing helpful, appearing sacrificing, appearing to care a lot...it's for the display...sacrifice never made anyone happy...it's all about selfishness...even if you help some stranger on the road, you're doing it to assure them that there are 'good people like YOU in the world' you count yourself as one of the higher, 'good people'. what, you think everyon else is a mass murderer?

if a guy see's another guy 'helping' a girl pick up her books, and thus getting her attention...he won't be happy about the girl having to go through less inconvenience...he'll be cursing his luck that she didn't drop them near him...or that she didn't have a near death experience near him, which he could save her from to show her how 'charming' and 'brave' he is...

even the decision to not go do the publicly accepted 'right' thing is a hard one, but that won't be noticed....and would be considered negative, because they want everyone to follow the same moralistic ideals as everyone else...but what about your personal decision? they'll call you 'selfish', I'd call you selfish...but i can see now....it's different....i admire a person's ability to stick by their decision...it's yours and only yours to change, don't go with the flow...even if there's no harm in it and it can be done for the sake of doing it DON'T! because you've decided...don't do it, for yourself....because in the end it's you who'll be taking all the decisions of your life and you want to be able to make the hard ones. (this sounds like something inspirational, i hate people who write like this, bleh...)

fuck the masses.

and no im not talking about drugs. do them if you're curious, nothign is 'bad', things are just as 'bad' as you believe them to be. would you believe something without proof? go see for yourself...

im talking about day to day decisions, decisions like 'hey everybody is going to meet at that hang out place, i should go too, jsut tag along'
and
'everyone is asking me to come for this movie with them, doesn't look that great, i wouldn't go for it alone, but everyone seems to be going so what the hell'

what 'what the hell'? stop, depending on people....stop, attaching yourself...they don't need you, YOU need them!! see how horrible that sounds?

if they say they need you, it's only because you provide some kind of 'service', i.e:- being there to borrow money from, to make people laugh, to provide bike services, or you're just there to be a 'listener' to some fuck who thinks you understand him/her....

or somethign like that...

if you make a list like 'people i would never cheat on'

you'll always cheat on #2 with #1 ;)