2 posts tagged “words”
When any of my friends, or I, try to be funny…it just comes really….one happens to just, say things which make others laugh, the key is to say them with a straight face, it's mostly stuff that is absolutely absurd which sounds funny when said with a straight face :) some sarcasm, some cynicism, the best is 'extreme sarcasm' where the absurdity actually sounds valid!! I wonder what it would be like to actually 'write' something, which is not a first person account (like a blog) which makes people laugh.
I'd really like to try that out, so here goes, let's create a character…let's see…let's observe…let's plot out his anatomy…
Normally built, normal nails…normal hair (I would have given him a bald spot but then the story would keep 'centering' around his insecurity about it) this man Is very used to observing people, and going 'bah..humbug' about them (no this is not a scrooge rip off) also he's a bit insecure about his safety deposit box…ok that's a bad joke, if it is a joke. He's very secure about it actually, it's in a good bank with loads of guards and a good security system. Yes I'm not gonna let the 'security' joke die.
Let's call him 'Zaphod' (I've been reading some Douglas Adams yeah) nice name, isn't it? Sounds like somebody people would say 'he's so cool!' about…well he's not. Zaphod wanted to be in a band, like all t he kids that were ever born did until they became doctors or lawyers or businessmen…he tried to paly an instrument but got really really bored at the classes, "what's with all the 'practice' man?" he'd say, "no I can't do it, my fingers are too fat!" maybe I can get a doctor to prove that I am a musical genius but sadly for the world my fingers ARE too fat to paly the guitar, win win :) actually a 'win' int his situation would be if he became a great guitarist (or just an average one, the 'inspiration story lovers' would be ok with just that) coz then it would be like the Lance Armstrong story…yeah! So that didn't happen, he knows just about two or three chords…but is trying, kinda….he hates having to practice 'switching from one chord to another' so thinks he's destined to be a lead guitarist who just plays awesome solo's, or a bassist, hehe….bass is fun..
Zaphod also thought that the first time he got an erection it was a medical miracle!! And that he'd be on TV just because his penis could do that! Well, he was very disappointed when he realized that the only thing he thought was special about him was…er…not, that special. And was very glad that he didn't go running to his friends claiming "guys I'm gonna be famous!!"…so glad.
Zaphod loves throwing his opinion around, so much so that he'll judge you on the first word you say when you meet him and how you say it and which direction you look when you say it and how you smile when you say it and at what volume you say it and what songs you used to lsiten to 14 years ago and on what platform and whether you like Linux or not and whether your grammar is as good as the father of English (whoever it was, Zaphod thinks it was his great-great-great-great grandfather, validating Zaphod's awesomeness)whether your father owns a white pair of socks or whether your mother laughs at the best of jokes (she shouldn't, she should just laugh at the ones told by him)and whether he feels awkward in your company or not because of how you look and others look at you…
Besides all that he's a very non judgmental person…he says so himself.
Eh….this isn't easy..
Zaphod is very self centered, whenever he tries to write about a fictional character he ends up writing about himself, grrrr…..
Man I keep reading parts of Douglas Adams' books and getting 'inspired'!! But it's just not working!! I'm better off blogging, and trying to make the content there funny…
big ass writer's block, haha, big 'ass-writer's' block :) -
yes, yet another rant....
run along now.
i can't think of anything 'correct' to write, because the thoughts in my head are ridiculous from the general point of view. either ridiculous, or cheesy, none of which i want on my blog. (actually, ridiculous is ok) feelings become cheesy only when they are expressed in the form of speech or written word. but in your head, the cheesy is just another feeling that is just, right...
words have always been inadequate...
to be accepted, anything that can be coined as 'cheesy' should publicly either be said by extremely hot men/women in the form of romantic novels/songs/movie dialogue
OR
privately, (although they like being 'public' about it) by the average 'other half' to the first half ("because we're supposed to! that's the way of the world! listen to me jaanu!")...heehee... (although this too, results in a lot of regretful 'what the hell was i thinking?' moments)
so the best thing to do...is to not speak what you feel at all...it would never amount to anything...whatever you speak, will only do harm. (unless you're talking to naive girls who lurve cheesy things, like yourself, you cunt)
so 'I' will not speak, or try not to...about 'me' and the cheese....wheeeeee!!!!
I'll go with the flow although it's against my sorry ass...grrr...
i hate my life
